I Walk Alone In Circles

Dotted Lecture and Hitting Incident

2005-02-24T18:24:00.000-05:00

Thismorning I woke up happy cuz the cute japanese guy, Yo, had his lecture today. So yea I went to class and he was dressed in all black with a silver necklace which of course looked beautiful against his natural tan. Anyways i had originally downloaded a program so that I could record my own lecture, but hadn't used it. So when Yo got up for his lecture I recorded it on my computer. His voice is adorable and he kept roaming around the room while he talked, you couldn't seem to keep him still. His lecture was on a Japanese artist who drew dots over everything so Yo ended up saying..."dots..dots..dots..everywhere." Some of the words most people couldn't understand but since I was used to the Filipino accent I became sort of a translater. So one time he said something and no one knew what he said...so i repeated it so that everyone then was like...oh..ok. The other three lectures were unmemorable since I can't remember what they were about. After class however I tried to get a chance to talk to Yo, but as it turns out I was talking to this girl that sits behind me in class named Andrea who has her prerequresite review tomorrow and we were discussing what all that entails since I have mine next quarter. Yo on the other hand was talking to the other japanese girl who had her lecture as well today, she was really cute of course and as small as a beanpole that is malnourished. So I ended up parting my way and heading to my next class before it got to late. It is interesting because at my next class my teacher really had it in for me. I can't blame her though and would probably get after me more then she did. She says that she has given us four weeks to do this project and I have nothing to show. I know that I have nothing to show but I really didn't know it had been four weeks already. I guess I don't have a grand excuse except that the other classes have kept me mad busy with tons of junk. Contemperary Art History has been like a big bad monster and hogged all my time especially with papers and lectures every class. So I kept apologizing but she hasn't really forgiven me. Just said that I better have something for next class or she'll disinherit me. I got talking to the goldfish guy in class. As of now I call him that cuz i'm awful with names and forgot his. But he's doing this awesome project that includes goldfish and so each class he updates me on how many of the original thirty goldfish have died. Turns out today that only four goldfish remain and just the way he talks is hilarious. He is the type I would love to have as a roommate cuz he takes things extremely well, laid back, yet is always full of new tales to tell. So today he came over and sat by me and we just kept chatting away. The teacher than came by and got mad at him for talking 2 me saying that he was taking precious seconds away from me studying for my project. Ironically he doesn't have much more done than i do, but yea she was mostly upset at me today. Well one can't get by this guy without soon falling into a conversation with me and the teacher isn't an exception. Soon we were all three talking and goldfish man was telling her about his experience on the street that I live about being held up at gun point. At the end of his story though he mentioned the guy left on his bicycle and i asked if he remembered the color of the bike and commented I wondered if it was the guy who had pummelled me in the back the other day. To that the goldfish man was like, yea that same thing happened to my friend who was standing on the side out of the way this bicyclest came by and hit him really hard in the back. Then across the room another guy named "Will" spoke up and was like, "yea, that happened to my friend as well." It turns out that there's this guy on a bike going around savannah hitting scad students randomly...and pretty hard to. Well with that Will continued and said that another one of his friends which was a guy saw this guy on the bike hit this girl and the guy around the corner chased down the biker and beat him up. I mean really Savannah is such an interesting place. Bikers randomly hitting people who in return chase after them and beat them up. Guys that try sticking people up at gunpoint but then lose their gun down their pants and have to jump up and down to get it out. This place is unique is all I have to say about it. I drove the goldfish guy home since his apartment is like two or three blocks away from mine and we talked and stuff, he's pretty kewl. No one I would date but he would make a kewl friend. It turns out he's half filipino but he's whiter than me, which is a hard feat for anyone since i'm pretty white. He almost goes into the bracket of pastey white. But yea, he just got back from the Philippines like two or three years go so we talked about that as well. His mom is Filipino and his dad is American and he lived there for like eighteen years, he's hilarious. He also has a problem sleeping at night so he says he can go for a week without sleeping just because of this problem. However he has given up on schoolwork so presently hasn't done any work in who knows how long but is so laid back its amazing he's not freaking out. Another day, and I got two phone numbers today, Andrea's and also goldfish man, they should be pretty cool friends.

BE the Presentation

2005-02-22T18:49:00.000-05:00

Today was my presentation, talk about freaked out fury of nothingness. So the words "NO SLEEP" applied to me last night. It was really a wacked situation. So how this happened was I went to class last night, which was monday and when I got done at 8:30pm I headed home and started working on my presentation. I decided to do it in InDesign then put it in pdf format instead of using powerpoint since i have had bad situations with powerpoint and didn't want to deal with that this time. So instead of looking at my essay I decided that I hadn't put a good and strong enough point in my essay so started from scratch for my presentation. I went to the book and did a life structure of Yves Klein and by midnight had my pictures scanned in and was starting to add text. Around 3:30am I was so exhausted the computer was turning into three computers so I decided that the base was done and I should turn it into a pdf and see what it would look like. I told the computer to turn it into a pdf and it started the ever so long process and said it would take like 45 min to complete so i slept on the couch kind of listening 2 when it would be done. So then when it made the sound it was done I got up, looked at it...made a few changes and turned it into another pdf. After making the second pdf it was good enough and I turned into the printing mode, which then my printer decided to print really slow and stop after printing five lines and take a break. So I slept for an hour while it printed just to realize that it had printed wrong and I had to reprint it. By 6am I was up and getting ready for class. I was also excited cuz the cute japanese guy Yo was giving his talk today as well. So I got to class about fifteen minutes early and found out it was teacher evaluations. I actually graded the teacher pretty nice but in suggestions put that he should NOT give pop-tests or so much homework that we can't get anything done for other classes. It turns out our Contemperary Art History class is the only one that has 600 word journal entry due every class..so yea somethings up with that. Class however started 20 minutes late because of these and I really didn't want to be first in giving my lecture. Andrea, the nice girl that sits behind me said she wanted to go first, so that worked out great. Her presentation was about typography in relation to art and was a bit short as far as time, which I could see the teacher didn't really appreciate. Next went Jill who is an Art History major and I had no clue what she was talking about both because of her speed and her vocabulary sounded like my book that I don't understand either. Then went this guy whom I can't remember his name but his lecture was comparing Donald Judd and another guy that shall remain nameless since I can't remember his name. I had actually wanted to go at the time the guy was going but when the teacher asked who was next this guy practically jumped out of his seat so i decided I would have to go after him cuz the suspense of waiting was killing me. As well as being first would be awful, but being last isn't that great either...hence third would've been best but fourth was better than fifth. After the guy went I eyed Yo hoping he wouldn't jump up and make me last but he seemed okay with just sitting there quietly. So I ended up being fourth and did take up all my time, but didn't speak so fast that I lost the audience. My theme statement was that Yves Klein wanted to make himself become a god. At the end I had quite a few questions from various places in the classroom which is good since that means people actually understood the talk, unlike some of the others who had only gotten questions from those that were art history majors since the others had no clue what they were talking about. One major Thing was at the beginning I said the artists name wrong. It was mostly because I was so nervous I just said whatever and of course it was wrong. I pronounced Yves as Ives when the proper pronounciation as the teacher said over and over again was Eve, not even saying the 'S', is that weird or what. When my lecture finished it was such a relief. Unfortunately with the teacher evaluations at the beginning there was no time for Yo's talk and he was rescheduled for thursday. That made me exceptionally glad I had gone since I didn't want to have to deal with all the pressure for another two days, it was best to just be done with it.
At the end of class I had a lot of students come up to me and say that my lecture was the most understandable and fun one out of the lot today, some people whom I had never even spoken to before so that was nice. However it made me worry a bit since my teacher seems to prefer lectures that are sophisticated and un-understandable, but its not my style to do that. As the classroom emptied out a lady I had become friends with whose name is Sharon K, not to be confused with Sharon L. another one of my friends in the same class came and asked me to get the pictures I had taken in NYC of "the gates" to her so she could use them in her lecture. I talked to her a while and we exchanged phone numbers and then she left and awesomely enough I ended up leaving the same time Yo was leaving and we started to talk. He said he had liked my lecture and I told him he was lucky he got out of it today, which he was glad he had to. As we talked I found out that his parents were from Japan and he had been here for a year or two, didn't really get which. His english was really good, especially considering he had just started learning when he arrived in the states. I said that I liked his accent and he was like "yea, I dont know why so many people here like it...they say its....." and I was like, "cute?" and he smiled his cute smile and was like, "yea, cute. I dont understand why." I just smiled and we ended up walking together for about ten minutes. Usually he rides his bike to class but today had brought his car so thats why I actually got to walk with him for three blocks. He also said that japanese was a very easy language to learn, just not easy to write but learning it would be easy. Of course i passed my car because it was parked on the other side of the street in the middle of like four other silver cars which when I glanced over I didn't recognize them or the fact they were hiding my car. So I ended up one block to far at Yo's car and was like, drat i forgot my car. So I said goodbye to him and headed back up the other street to my car just in time to catch my teacher whose ride was parked right behind mine and the teacher of course couldn't pass me up without pronouncing the proper way to say Yves Klein again. I just laughed at him and was like..yea, i knew that. So I got in my car and did a u-turn to get back to my apartment and meanwhile across the street Yo did a u-turn so we ended up passing and we waved at each other as we passed. HE'S SO BLASTED CUTE!!! The worse part is the more I talk to him the cuter he gets. Like his little accent, cutest hair, beautiful face, and really a fun person to be around. I can't help but wish I could be his stalker..haha. I went to my next class but nothing exciting there except the guy who I usually sit by had a hicky on his neck which I wouldn't have normally noticed even tho it was of a rather large variety, except for the fact he kept fiddling with his collar and pulling it up which was what originally got my attention. Can't remember his name for the life of me, but he's the one that I actually danced with for his video the other week, which was my first time to ever dance. He's pretty cute, but to that style where I swear he must be gay cuz he's not boy cute more so girl cute. but then again I don't know and of course he doesn't come close to Yo's cuteness.

NYC Here I Come

2005-02-21T15:42:00.000-05:00

jo&me
Originally uploaded by angelsilvermizt.

Okay, so this trip to NYC happened kind of fast but took part of a week in coming. It all started last week on Tuesday when in Contemperary Art History our teacher showed us pictures of the opening of a new exhibit in Central Park from Jeanne Claude and Christo called "The Gates". We had studied their other works in class and I honestly did not know they had one opening up so soon but the did and Tuesday was the first day I heard about it. So yea, I purposely put it out of my mind because finals are coming up and I didn't have time to go though I really wanted to. Things were going well until the very next day I received a letter from my dad with the newspaper article about the same thing happening in NYC and I was like, drat I want to go. So then it was about 3pm and I randomly thought I might find a way to go. So I called up Jojo and was like "hey dude, want to go to NYC this weekend?" Jojo was like "sure, when are we leaving?" Well i told him I couldn't be sure yet since I had to write my Contemperary Art History teacher and see if I could get out of the field trip on Friday. So I went home and wrote my teacher at 3:30pm asking him if he thought it would be possible. I heard no answer by my 6pm class, so had to go to class. By 7:30 I knew I had to go whether or not the teacher agreed so pretty much thought maybe we could just drive there that night and then just see it a few hours thursday so I could get to Atlanta by Friday morning. Around 7pm however my other thursday class was canceled because my teacher got sick, so now all my classes were canceled all I had was the field trip. At 7:30pm Jensen (CAT - contemperary art teacher) wrote and said I could go if it meant that much to me and gave me an alternate assignment to do if I decided to not go 2 class. So yea I was like...kewl and talked to my motion type class teacher and asked if I could leave class early. He thought I was insane but said I could so I headed back to my apartment. I collected my stuff including Alaska and we headed to Chattanooga about 8:30 pm wednesday evening. The drive was long but full of conversations trying to get arrangements for where we were going, when and all that fun stuff. Jo wasn't to happy about such last minute notice and kind of refused to go that night, though now he denies it. I arrived home at 2am where I met Jo at a gas station cuz he had cat food since I had forgotten to bring some from savannah for alaska who was staying with her grandparents for the weekend while I went to NYC. So we talked and decided to leave about 6am in the morning. I went home and crashed at about 2:30am just to be woken up by my dear father at 6am asking why I was home. I was so out of it that I just replied I was headed to PA and my dad looked bewildered but I suppose he left cuz i was asleep again. I then called jo long enough to say i was changing our leaving time to 8am and fell back asleep long enough for Tareica to come in and ask why I hadn't woken her up when I arrived that morning..and i said i hadn't wanted to wake her and was out of it again. then of course it was 8am and I woke up and let alaska out of the room and we went to find grandma. Mom was in her room in bed so we crashed the party and she was all surprised to see us there. I then explained the crazy idea that we were headed to NYC and she was kind of in shock but expected something like that from me. She then blamed it on dad for having sent me the newspaper article, which indeed that was the last straw, but i was on the verge either way. I had to run to walmart to get something, so mom came with me and when we returned it was 9am and Jo called saying that if we got this one part for his car we could take his car instead of mine. So I said it was okay, but mom was into me taking his car so I headed back out to get the part, then head to Jo's house where he put the piece in while mom and I headed to Village Market so she could get some stuff. Long story short, we ended up leaving Jo's at about noon after I left my cell phone and mom had to return it to me and such. So we got in the car and that was the beginning. I soon learned that when Jo started on a trip that was it, he was gone. So about two hours into the trip I had to go to the bathroom, but Jo would NOT stop. No matter what I said we were going for six hours before we could stop. Luckily I made it and when we finally got to the gas station passed Roanoke I was very happy. The other thing I learned is that Jo is very particular about gas stations, he prefers BP, which on that point we disagree cuz I prefer Chevron but whatever its all good. So even though we left at noon we made it to PA by about nine, however we got lost going to Tenielle's house which is a grade-school friend of mine who said we could stay with her family who is like my second family I hadn't seen in like two years. So yea, I drove after Roanoke and was also getting the directions and of course got lost which is true fashion of me. Jo ended up driving however cuz i was killing his poor car since stick is hard to drive plus get lost, plus try and talk on a cell getting directions. I stalled it only once though. We finally made it to Tenielle's house and hit the bed pretty fast since I was exhausted and poor Jo was too, though he had been sleeping while I drove. We got directions from Tenielle's dad about getting into NYC and decided to leave at 5am. I made it Jo's job to wake me up. So at 4:45am Jo woke me up and after getting ready we left the house around 5:20am and I slept in the car while Jo drove. The traffic wasn't bad going in since we had purposely left so early and we made it to the ferry about 7:30am and got into NYC by 8am which is when we headed for Central Park. I do feel bad for Jo, because somehow we hadn't communicated properly, which seems to be normal for us and he thought we would be in a museum all day so only wore a t-shirt and thin jacket when its like 28F, with the awful NYC wind. Poor guy was so cold. We did get lost in the metro for a few minutes but found our way and when we exited got frozen pretty fast. I was cold and I had on long-johns, 2 shirts, and 2 coats along with gloves. The park was awesome though, "The Gates" were complete incredible. Once again Jo and I collided because to me the gates were so beautiful that I wanted to just walk through them and enjoy the experience. However Jo had to have a point and decided our point should be to find the artists and meet them since I had wanted to meet them but I guess it didn't matter that much to me, it was the experience. So we started walking really fast throughout the part looking for the artists. We spent the next four or so hours walking around and ended up at the boathouse where we ate breakfast and where the artists were suppose to show up sometime. We then went walking around some more but returned around noon to see if we could find the artists and we did see them but didn't get to talk to them, though Jo says he shook Jeanne Claude's hand. We waited outside for them to return for about an hour, but when they returned they had their bodyguards who wouldn't let us get close, but Jo got really mad at me cuz I didn't go running up to them and take their picture, cuz i was scared and hate doing that, seems to stalkerish. So we saw them twice and then Jo was upset at me and decided that we needed to collect this swatches of curtain the various people were handing out. So we had started in the middle of central park, walked all the day down south, then headed up north so Jo could collect 7 swatches of curtain. The park is 52 blocks long and we zigzagged all the way up north, it was insane. There was about 26miles of curtain through the park and I wouldn't be surprised that in the seven hours we were there if we walked through about twenty miles of that. Jo ended up getting his 7 swatches tho I missed out after five because it's really hard to get them, they are very anal about handing them out and sometimes would just refuse to give them to you. Jo is so persistant and driven though he would not take no for an answer. About 2pm we finally got on the metro for I decided that since this was Jo's first time to NYC he should at least see Time Square. It was funny and a very Jo thing that we got out of the subway at the stop, walked five blocks to the middle of time square and got back on the metro, we honestly did not stop at one store or anywhere, just kept walking. Then we headed to Chinatown where we just started walking again, somewhat headed back to our ferry which had to at least be another 2 miles away. We stopped long enough to eat lunch since we were both hungry and it was 4pm. I also made sure to grab a "I Love NYC" t-shirt cuz I had always wanted one in black. Around 5:30 we put it back into high geer to get to the ferry by about 6pm, which we amazingly did. We were hauling it though since Jo doesn't know the word that is slow down. It was kind of funny cuz we were kind of lost half-way there and stopped a resident NYC person and asked which way we were to go and the NYC guy told us that it was so far we might want to take the subway or a taxi. Jo's like thanks, but then we out again. I swear we walked at least 25 miles today, but after we got back to Tenielle's house it was 8:30pm and we hung out with the family and talked for a while. It was really nice. Saturday was full of church and then having to show Jo, BMA since some of his good friends had gone to school there. Lunch was at Tenielle's Uncle's house with her whole family there. Jo and I became the family's main source of conversation where they all said that I was using poor Jo since we were driving his car there and all. To me I find it amazing how Jo interacts with those around him. It's like he becomes friends with everyone right off the bat without trying or anything. By the time we were leaving the uncle's house, Jo was given all the various family's phone numbers in case he ever needed a place to stay or live for that matter. I guess he's just a friendly outgoing sort of person. We ended up having to leave and head back soon after that. On the way however we stopped at my moms best friends house where we dropped off some stuff for my mom and also picked up some stuff for her. It was a nice stop and of course they fell in love with Jo to, what's up with that? After getting on the highway I decided to be the first driver since it was already 5pm and after midnight i'm not that good at driving. So Jo slept while I drove until Roanoke and about an hour out from Roanoke he took over the driving. Acually about 3/4 through my driving I started listening to an audio book and it was kind of funny cuz i thought Jo was sleeping, but then he all of a sudden would ask something about what we were listening to and we would discuss it. So with Jo's driving we finished the story and then I put on the audio book "les miserables" so that he would have something 2 listen to and I could fall asleep. I woke up around the time we hit Cleveland exit which is about 20 min from my house. The audio book was done, i'm not sure how long before that, but I then stayed up and talked with Jo, though he was very quiet on the trip back, it seemed almost impossible to get him to talk. So yea, that was weird cuz normally he is more of a talker so I assumed he was just not happy with me or sick of being stuck with me for so long. He dropped me off, i'm guessing it was about 4am by the time we got back. I unloaded most of my stuff in the garage and then just took my pillow in the basement and fell asleep. Sunday morning I worked on my essay paper for Yves Klein that was getting due soon. I was getting so distracted though that nothing was going in. I ended up deciding that I would have to travel back to Savannah in order to finish the paper. Mom was a great help though, for when I went to eat lunch with nana and papa at Panera she went through and read some of the books pulling out quotes for me to use in my book, I don't think I could've done it without her help. So after lunch with my grandparents I stopped by the bank and got money to pay Jo back for half of the gas. He was also kind of stand-offish when i called him though when i went to see him he said it was cuz he didn't really want me to pay him back but i had to since I can't stand to feel im in debt or anything. So yea, said goodbye to him, headed home to pack and alaska and I headed back to savannah. When we got back it was late but i tried to write a bit more in my essay but couldnt do much before i crashed for the night. Today however I pretty much got up at 8am and worked straight the whole day just stopping long enough to get stuff ready for my class tonight. I have no clue how i'm going to get this all done. I only have 2.5 weeks left of class, which includes only 2 weekends left...im stressed!!! but yea the trip to NYC was worth it even if it does make me more stressed and all, for that is only going to be there for a 2 weeks and will be something that is going to be in art history books for years to come. :)

If Only...

2005-02-15T20:33:00.000-05:00

So today I just had to write and say the exciting news....I TALKED TO THE JAPANESE ANIME GUY TODAY!!!
I know it's shocking! so what happened was I was early to class as usual stuck sitting in the hall chatting with friends and stuff and there is only one seat which one girl was hogging the whole thing at first but left to go to the bathroom so I sat in the middle and Jared was on my right side. Well the Japanese guy came in and sat down on my left and I was sooo shocked. So yea, I acted calm and all..or tried and after a few minutes looked over and he had a sheet with all the slides from our teacher on powerpoint on this piece of paper. They were marked, either crossed out or circled and so I asked him about it, like how he studied and such because he did so well on his last test. He said he had done "awful" which I know is wrong since i graded it and that all he did was study this sheet before each class and otherwise didn't study. So i was like, your the type that does work right before its due, and he said yea and about hours before it was due, it was really cute. So yea, I learned he was a film major. His accent is like sooo cute. Anyways class came to soon, and for the first time in class history I wasn't at the beginning of the line to get inside, but stayed behind and hence got to talk to him for another 2 minutes while the classroom filled up. In class we also found out that our presentations are due in one week from today. Yo, is the name of the anime guy and he is in the same category as me so our presentations are due the same day..so kewl. He doesn't really talk in class, but when he talks, he's sooo cute. I skipped my next class though, because I had done nothing for it and knew the teacher would be upset at me. I went to the library instead to collect books for the presentation due in a week. That teacher is psycho to think we can get a good presentation done in just a week...im stressed!!! But i talked 2 him..and he's adorable!!!

Singles Awareness Day...

2005-02-14T20:43:00.000-05:00

So yea, I thought I should at least commemorate what I did/didn't do today. Today I spent the day studying in a mad frenzy trying to get a project that the rough of the project was due that evening, but of course in the end I didn't go to class. Mostly because I didn't have my rough rendered out in time, and by the time I got to class it was 6:30pm and even if i went in late I had to leave to go to another art lecture for extra credit in contemperary art which was at 7pm. So I ended up just leaving and heading to the lecture where I waited and signed in with my teacher before the lecture began and then snuck out after it had started at 7:15pm to go over to Forsynth park where I met Maria (college advisor) and Randy (College professor both from southern) as well as another student previously from southern where we had soup and a shake to celebrate valentine's day. We probably hung out there talking until about 8:30pm and then headed our various ways which mine was back to my house and studying some more. So yea, that was my great valentine's day....any questions?

Lectures and Anime

2005-01-27T22:49:00.000-05:00

Today an evening lecture was forced upon us by an artist that even if I did know the name I wouldn't torture you with. Her art work was quite disturbing and I believe was stupid, twisted, and sick. hence why my teacher likes her so much and made the whole class go. While this sounds like the psycho teacher, there was a small highlight. I got to see anime guy again, out and about. Of course I didn't talk to him. It's like when you're in a glass store with tons of beautiful glass stuff, you don't actually touch anything because you don't want to break anything or ruin it. Same is with him, he probably does better in my mind. However I did get pushed into him ever so slightly which mostly just amused me. I love those highschool crushes that serve no purpose but to amuse ones self. who know's maybe the next step would be to talk to him, guess only time will tell. I did forget to mention tha ton his last quiz that I graded we had to sign our names at the bottom to be responsible for what we graded and after I put my name down i kind of emblemed the letters "YSC" not sure why except as soon as i got his paper I knew thats what I wanted to put. That way if I never talk to him at least he knows how i feel. So unless you haven't figured it out yet, YSC - Your So Cute. Can I get any shallower...

Contemperary Art is the Devil

2005-01-25T16:44:00.000-05:00

I had a pop-quiz in contemperary art history on tuesday. Our psycho teacher should reword it though to torturous pop-test. It truely was the start of my weeks downfall. Here I had kept up with the reading, studied the artists he told us to study, then puts this test in front of us randomly and basis our studying skills and ten percent of our grade on this one majorly psycho test. The first 16 questions were slides of various art work and we were to name the artist, name of piece, date done, and the movement. We had twenty seconds in which to figure all that out. I have never done good with tests to begin with, I stink at them. So my main reaction is I study and study and as soon as I get a quiz in my hand i freeze. Literally freeze, can't think, my brain is just not working especially knowing that it is so important to my grade. Guess its one of those situations where life grabs you by the throat and trys to squeeze the air out of your throat. Anyways the first 16, four part questions was the beginning. Then we were given random statements that had been read the past four weeks somewhere in the 1000 words we have read from various artists and were to match the artists up. That part did save me if for no other reason gave me some ideas for artists for the part before. Then the last was the essay where we were give to different versions, then we were to title, name, date and movement them then compare and contrast the meanings behind them. I'm not too bad at making BS up, so I hope i survived that one. I was so upset though, because the first and third slide at the very beginning I knew I knew. I just for the life of me could not remember who they were. The part that irked me the most was I had written about both of those artists and did reports on them. Another one I missed, but it didn't really matter since I dont even remember him mentioning it or showing it. THAT GUY IS PSYCHO!!! Now if we were wondering where the light was at the end of the tunnel it did come. It came when he took our quizzes and then repaced them randomly to us and omgoodness you will not believe whose I got. I got Yo Taniaii's paper. The awesomely adorable japanese guy. He was just incredibly smart on that quiz and did so well. I just sat there feeling almost like a stupid school girl just getting to touch her first crushes school paper. It was nice to be shallow for a change. When the grading rules came along, they were horendous. I you missed an "e" in an artists name you would get it wrong. If you missed a word in a title of a work or spelled it wrong you would get it wrong. I mean, even if you did know what it was but didn't spell reinhardt or rauschenberg right, you would get it wrong. Not including the movements were all wacked and I got most of those wrong, because it wasn't minimalism, it was earth works or post minimalism... who would've thunk. After all these rules about what it could or couldn't be I could just feel my heart dropping lower and lower. By the time we had finished grading the quizzes the whole room for the first time since the beginning of class was in completely morbid silence. In my head it didn't seem to matter because I had worked my hardest to learn all this and now it hadn't of really mattered that I did all that reading and had done all that stuff. There was no point. The psycho collected the crackhead tests and then proceeded to talk to himself. There was no way anyone could miss the tension just going throughout the room. Break soon came, which another word for that was time for students to vent. No one in the whole class was at all happy, they were all complaining about the supposed easiness that the quiz wasnt. the fact that before spelling had never been mentioned as a must-have. Just everyone was upset about everything. Honestly groups of people were discussing just dropping the class. They had taken away from their true majors to work on this class and to abesolutely no avail, it was pointless. When our class reconveined again the silence still rained and our teacher tried to have the class discussion time, but after the short-lived discussion the stupidity of the test no one really spoke at all. It was interesting that no matter how much he tried, it was just dead silence, no one cared anymore. The point and thought had been lost, and for what I saw, that indeed was a major short-coming. At that point I was just low, and when the teacher looked at me my face was either completely blank or a tinge of glaring at him appeared. I have always been sitting in the front row, far left side of the room so as not to be in the middle front, but more to the side and to myself. I think that was a record time for the class ending almost a bit early. The teacher said what he had to and no comments really were given and he couldn't even prod anything out of us. He had in a way lost his class. This to me was an eye opener. It went farther then just the test of course. It went to the fact that you had a group full of people who had at one point tried all they could just to realize that all their efforts were in a way going to be summed up by one measley act that not only could they not prepare for, but was so random and obscure. It literally was a roomfull of silent crushed people not know what to do or how to do anything anymore. I truthfully believe that was just harsh of the teacher and I am honestly dissapointed in him if he believes a unknown test can scale how much someone might've worked for a particular class.
My next class was somewhat fascinating. We were to talk about our new upcoming videos that were to be either self-promo's or commercial adds. I had gone with self-promo since I had been wanting to work on an idea of mine for a while. What I found so odd about it, was my idea was realistic and personal type thing. Even so, when I did tell the class about it they kind of made fun of it and laughed and said I was infactuated with blinking. I wasn't, just thought that I could use blinking as a transition mechanism, but I suppose they didn't get it. It also amused my teacher and I discovered that I"m the amusing source of entertainment. It's almost like I wasn't taken seriously, but then we turn the projects over and someone else is wanting to advertise porn, which of course would be ok, and another do a piece on mice are from hell and elephants are in heaven and no one laughs, but using blinking for transitions in somehow funnier than that? what's wrong with these people?
I guess I don't mind making people laugh, it's good for them I suppose. After that class I just went back to my apartment and fell. Fell in such a way that I just gave up the ghost for the day, no more studying, no more brain freezes, and no more freaking out. I tried to just relax and pull myself together because I felt like I was falling a part.
The evening did come however and my relaxing turned into boredom, which turned into lonliness and so when one of my grad friends called and said they were bored we decided to play video games. So I jumped happily into my car and went over to play the video game JAWS from 1987, which is scary because it's so old. That really was an awesome time, playing this almost impossible to beat game with the old sound effects and jpg'd graphics, it was hilarious. We were almost rolling on the floor from the non-scariness of jaws followed by his wannabe tacky music and my great ability to be killed not by jaws but random other fish swimming by. However I got tired fast and ended up leaving around 11pm to get home and crash into bed. Another day.

Anime Hottie

2005-01-18T23:39:00.000-05:00

I thought I should take this time and write about a guy who deserved his own little post. He's as of now an unknown name in my Contemperary Art History class. He is what makes it all managable and brings a sense of decor in the room. He is omg sooo HOTT!! I hadn't really heard him talk until today, and even now am not sure that was him talking but if it was, he had the cutest little accent. His appearance is like he just stepped out of one of those Japanese Anime's. His spikey hair is even looking exactly like it with one little hair misplaced and pointing to his beautifully shaped face. He has a strong chin structure I can only dream of drawing someday. All of his facial features are so perfectly and exquisitely pronounced and it's really just like a live poster of some model. Out of all the students I have seen at SCAD he is by far the best looking one out of them. He is what I call my eye-candy. The likelihood of meeting him is small and I think it's best that way since that can sometimes just spoil the illusion. I would however like to take a picture of his beautiful facial structure for its strength and quality. Each class he does look a bit different, but never even close to bad different. It's like sunsets, each day they might change, but no matter what they look like they're still each breath-taking, new, and beautiful. So yea, that's what I've been doing with my time as of recently in ths Psycho teacher's class. I do not know what I have with tall, skinny, black hair and naturally tan guys, it just must be unhealthy on so many levels. I keep hearing that I need to find a more macho guy with muscles and such, but yea thats not really my style since I rather have a guy that doesn't look like he's that strong and be strong then have some muscley guy who isn't really strong. However I would make an exception for Andrew DanJumbo from TLC's "while you were out" he is like a fresh scoop of cold ice cream on a steaming hott tropical day...he's gorgeous is all I have to say about it. My one exception to all the previously stated things.

No Way! I'm Too Booked

2005-01-18T22:42:00.000-05:00

So yea, today was sooo awesome!!!
I guess though it depends on which level we are talking about. As far as classes and the work they assigned it was like freezing fish on the sand in the tropics, it was pretty bad. But I'll go into my homework laters.
I arrived home sooo sick of school and thinking I needed to start off immediately working on class, but of course found ways to avoid it. The ways were awesome though. I started by first warming up left overs for lunch, which by then was 3pm and i guess it was also breakfast since I had been running late that morning. So then I for the first time in my life rewired my speakers and made my apartment have surround sound. At least it's an odd form of surround sound. I originally have two speakers but found four more thanks to my grandparents. So yea, the two little ones I put in the bathroom for when i take long baths, and the other two are flanking my bed and I just love sitting on my beautiful bed and listening to surround music...so awesome!!!! After hooking all the wires up in ways a lot of my friends said wouldn't work, but did...i put some type of foam over my top window in hopes to keep the heat in the apartment instead of warming the outside community.
Which reminds me, I never mentioned about yesterday. It was MLK day and so we all had off school and such, which was grand I suppose but I heard all these sirens and tons of people talking outside so i put my head out the door and the apartment complex across the street from my carriage apartment was on fire. This whole city thing is new for me so i went out to see if i could figure out what was happening. Smoke was pouring out of one of the windows and havic was just everwhere. Then I'm standing on the sidewalk next to a tree and this guy on his bike comes riding up behind me and slugs me in the back/arm really hard and mumbled something as he rode by. I was like...ummm...owww. I swear it bruised, it really hurt. After that I went back into my apartment fumming that a guy had randomly punched me for no reason.
So back to today. I got all that accomplished in avoidance to my classes and such, which is good cuz I've been wanting to do that, yet bad cuz I really have way more stuff to do. Yea, so let's go through the homework assignments my teachers have assigned that I need to do tomorrow since my day today wasn't as eventful as I hoped in accomplishing stuff.
For Motion Typography I just have 15-18 thumbnails due w/ explainations and 20 prints of my idea for a project to go along with the song from GreenDay called "Boulevard of Broken Dreams."
Editing Techniques, samples of self-promotion idea that will become an after effects movie to enter the adobe competition this Spring along with a project purposal with details of how i'm going to do it all.
Worst class ever for homework!!! Contemperary Art History. A one page purposal of an idea in contemperary art w/ a arguable subject that is focused on artists he has mentioned so far for an eight page essay/research paper. Then a 600 word journal entry, on one of three artists we are to do independant research on. Then compare the artist we decided on to the 300 pgs we are suppose to read about contemperary art, but then thats for each class, the only extra this time is the purposal. We also have a pop quiz coming up, but from the way he was talking I'm leaning towards it happening next week, so I need to start memorizing various artists paintings and styles. He's really my psycho teacher, way to intense unless he was a caffeinated beverage. So yea, my topic that I'm thinking about is on Yves Klein a minimalest painter and the argumentive point I shall save to tell you later after I figure if i'm on the right track.
My project with Guarsy went pretty well. I like how that teacher tells what she's thinking. So when she saw it, she mentioned how she wishes I had used a person and I was like...well I just got here and don't really know anyone to ask and she laughed real loud and commented like a side-note "that's sad." the way she said it though made me just laugh so hard, she's truly odd. But yea, out of all the projects mine got the most laughs and seemed to actually be the closes to the project style while I thought it would be completely out of the style. So i'm very thankful about that. The group that ditched me was there, but kind of avoided me and even though they asked how I did before I showed my project, the main guy wouldn't really give me any eye contact, which I think shows a sign of guilt. I honestly didn't mind that they left me out, it turned out good and I learned more having to do it on my own. I mean really I now have a compilation I can easily turn into a funny short video clip so I'm good. We'll see what she has to say about my overall project.

You Always Thought, Never Knew

2005-01-17T22:39:00.000-05:00

I guess today I just felt like so many of my friends just portray me how they want me 2 be or how they are. Rarely do people see the real me, maybe in part because a lot of times I do become that which I think they want. I behave the way which people want, not neccesarily who I am. How in the world can they think they know who and what I am when I don't even know who I am. It makes me feel like they are trying to mold me into their dreams forgetting that I have dreams as well. So yea just jotted down my thoughts through a poem which I usually do since it has more layers than I usually want to take the time and explain.
You’ve never seen me
Just assumed who I was
You never took the time
Just thought I was your reflection

The mirror of time has broken
I’m pulling free again
Don’t try to capture me
I was never yours to hold.

sunflower painting

2005-01-17T00:53:00.000-05:00

sunflower painting
Originally uploaded by angelsilvermizt.

my ebay painting

Something New Appears

2005-01-16T23:21:00.000-05:00

Today I put my first post as far as selling on ebay. It was a big moment for me because I had lots of mixed feelings about it. I would prefer to not sell the item but yet am really broke and need to find some cash so hence if I can make enough money out of it I will sell it. So yea, I'm trying to sell my newest painting, or maybe i'm trying to not sell it. I painted three sunflowers with a blue background, maybe I can post it sometime but as of now my mac isn't cooperating with uploading. The link is: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=3776445715&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT if you want to look at it and all...its quite exciting.
On other lanes, i was going to work on my class project with three other of my classmates and they pretty much found a way to ditch me and i spent the afternoon looking for a panasonic mini-dv tape which the campus shop had sold out of two days ago so I end up driving around to various stores looking for it. So after I got those tapes I returned to my apartment and was suppose to get a face or someone to pose for me but of course being new to the area I couldn't find anyone to help me out. hence I dressed up my guitar in my favorite caffeine hoody and posed it doing finances. I named the hoody/guitar Guarsy for the combination sounded good and almost human. It was sooo cute. After that I was addicted to my guitar/hoody motiff so continued and had Guarsy sitting on the couch playing computer, then painting, followed by going through the refrigerator looking for food, then sleeping quietly on the couch, with my last pose Guarsy was sitting on the toilet, I know it's kind of odd, but really cute in the end and I almost felt like I could talk to him.
Also my car which refused to lock no matter what yesterday randomly locked today during one of my stops. Trust me I was sooo thankful for that since living in Savannah is like one of the highest ranked crime places.
The weather here is also plummitting. last week it was up in the middle to late seventies, then Friday started dropping and Saturday it was down in the sixties. Now it's just cold and I dont really know how cold it truly is. If I had a thermometer, but of course can't afford one at this point. I can't afford to sneeze unless I'm by some fast-food place that isn't ghetto and i can get kleenex from them.
It's hard to manage your checkbook when your rate of in and out is always about the same. It's like some comes in and then I immediately have to put it somewhere else. Or like I have the cash but have to send them a check so put the cash in the bank then write a check so it won't bounce. I honestly have never been so poor in my life, it's truly almost scary for me and I hate being like this. I know I can somehow make it, just how many loans later that will be is keeping me up at night. Not as much as wishing I knew for an absolute fact that I was doing the right thing and in the right place, guess only time will tell.
As of now the time is telling me to go so I shall continue on with my rantings later

Graduate School 701 Kills

2005-01-15T02:29:00.000-05:00

Tonight is one of those odd nights for me. And not just odd as I would normally say, but in such a way I have never had before. Previous to now I would occassionally get down if I saw my friends dating or getting engaged and so on, but deep down I knew there wouldn’t be a point since I wasn’t ready for marriage.
Graduate school came from the feeling that there was some knowledge I was missing or thought process I had not caught quite yet. Now, however I’m not only wondering if I’m in the right place I’m wondering what I’m doing. Why did I think I could go to grad school and get a degree I don’t even know if I could use. Why would I want a degree that if nothing else actually cuts off a lot of jobs by making me overly qualified for them. What’s possessing me to continue when all the rest of me wants to stop and stay in a bubble bath for the next year.
Part of me wants to be that girl that has a whip boy where you use him for the money and to pay the bills whether or not you like him is another thing. The comfort that you know you’re taken care of and watched after and if anything happens someone is there, is indeed comforting. You’re not scared to open your latest electricity bill just wondering if you’ll have enough to cover it this month.
Unfortunately my heart, soul, body, and mind would not let me do this, I unfortunately respect the male gender probably more then most girls or guys respect girls. I actually live in a fantasy world where guys have feelings and care. Little do I realize how much of a fantasy world that is and the only guys that truly care and are worth treating well are already taken so hence it doesn’t really matter what happens to the left-overs except that I do care. I have this deep desire to help those that are at the bottom of the food chain or at least not hurt them. Same reason I have been true to the Eagles in football ever since I could remember and root for whatever team is losing on whatever sport is playing, yet if that team starts to win I’ll immediately switch to the other side.
So now I sit here at the age of twenty-three and ponder my life.
I have lived in Savannah now almost two weeks with some of the roughest times of my life, yet can’t remember a time since my sophomore year of college that wasn’t rough. The past years have been like battlefields with my life as the target to destroy.
I look at myself and wonder, why me? Why is my life so confusing and wacked out? Why did all my “good” little christian friends find their “perfect” match but I’m here alone with my only life-lines slowly snapping. But then once again I think, why do I care and have to have that silly support or knowing that someone is out there when I’m not ready to actually commit anyways.
All I can commit would be my attention, care, and support which I can do as a friend. This way the guys can just get away with forgetting my birthday and christmas presents and no anniversary to worry about. It would always get under my skin if guys forgot things like that, so now I can’t blame them or get mad if they do so it’s really a risk-free program for them to be on.
Presently I feel like I’m in a big, dark, endless ocean surrounded by my friends and family and everyone has a innertube or lifesaver, and of course you have the titanic couple on some old door floating around, and I’m just there in the water sitting around looking for a floating device that can’t be found. Unfortunately I’m right next to the titanic couple and they are making out in front of me which is grossing me out, but that’s my luck in life. I guess what I’m saying is that it seems everyone else has things piece out and worked out properly and I’m trying, but just flayling around getting nothing accomplished. If by some odd chance one of my guy friends were to try and hand me their floating device it wouldn’t really help me at all, because it’s not mine, it’s there piece of mind. Why can’t I find my piece of mind?
So far what I have figured out includes, I’m lonely, but not ready for a serious relationship. I’m lost, but not sure how to find what I’m looking for or what I’m looking for in general. I hate that everyone in my life presently around me is cursing, but what I hate even more is that when I’m mad now the first thing I think of is a curse word which is just one step from just saying it.
I’m tired of feeling watched by people and in my mind reflecting on how whatever I do will somehow get back to someone who I want to at least not think of me in that way. Which would make me seem fake, but it’s not that. I think it’s really hard to put up a sign and say, I’m this, or I’m that. I believe that we all have different sides or thoughts, especially when we’re trying to figure out who we are as a person and so hence there’s three or so sides about me yet I lean more towards one then the other. Example might be that I hate wearing jeans. To school I’ll wear my slacks and shirts because I’m used to the working environment and feel comfortable in those type of clothes and would feel out of place in jeans. On the other hand when I’m at home I have my specific slacks that I love to wear and am lost without them. They are so comfortable and I feel like I look like Jessica Simpson in them from the music video “With You.” Both those outfits represent a completely different and unique me that can’t really be tied together because I’m two different people when I’m in the different outfits.
So now we come to the pinnacle of my discussion with myself. Here I am not happy being single, yet seeing that as the only option at this time Being completely broke, without a base or support system that I can rely on for financial help or anything, no guy I would be willing to lure on for money and to pay my bills while I date another guy, because I’m too blasted nice to those that don’t deserve it. And through this all I’m ironically doing stuff that I have wanted to do for years. I’m thinking of new ideas and projects to accomplish. I have started to paint after three years of wishing to, and going out and even buying the paints, but never actually just doing it. The reason why was because I was scared that I would mess up the painting or ruin it and something would go wrong. I’ve been in savannah for less than two weeks and almost have my first 16/20in. painting done of 3 sunflowers and it’s the first in sooo long.
On other fronts I have been blessed to actually enjoy the one class I thought I would dislike the most. It has challenged me, more than any class has ever challenged me in my 16 years of academic service. I’m learing history of artists that some are still alive and not only about contributions they have made to society, but the thought process and such behind it and what’s most amazing is that I’m fascinated with it. I actually am not completely forcing myself to learn it as much as I thought I would have to and actually am starting to like it and look forward to the reading and research. My apartment is adorable and the kitchen is sufficent though I have not done that much cooking as of yet I still need to also organize my recipies, but I have the most awesome cookbook my parents gave me for christmas and I’m completely excited about that.
What confuses me the most is that if I’m doing all this that I’ve been waiting to do for so long, why do I feel so lost? All I can conclude is that I have searched the plain as best I have seen and find no other paths presently to travel down so I suppose I should stay tripping down this path alone and in the dark for now. I send out a match to those around who may also be out in the dark tripping along.
Small side note for guys looking for a girlfriend:
If you become really good friends with me you will have a 90% high chance of getting a girlfriend within the following year as you did before.
Applications for being my friend are available upon request with a registration fee of $250. I however only take paypal or cashier’s check.